10 Valentine’s Day Sex Positions for Next-Level Romance

On Jan 23, 2023

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Most couples have their go-to positions—you know, the ones that are equally comfortable for both of you and never fail to get you off. But once in a while, it’s important to shake things up to keep things interesting, explore different sensations, and learn more about each other’s needs and desires. February 14th is the perfect opportunity to do just that—but not all Valentine’s Day sex positions are created equal, of course. The best options are those that offer plenty of eye gazing and skin-to-skin contact. Because what could possibly be more romantic?

“Valentine’s Day can be a reminder to prioritize intimacy and connection in the relationship,” says Dr. Carolina Pataky, a certified sex therapist and founder of South Florida’s Love Discovery Institute. “Experimenting with new positions can help you to break out of a routine and boost sexual satisfaction. It can also help to build trust and communication within the relationship, and provide different physical and emotional experiences,”

All that said, Kiiroo intimacy expert Natasha Ivanovic advises first getting the green light from your partner that they’re willing to try a new position rather than making assumptions.

Keep in mind that when you pitch the idea of a new sex position, you may not be the enthusiastic yes that you’re hoping for, says Sarah Riccio, sex educator and co-founder of Delicto.“Trying new positions forces someone outside of their comfort zone, which can feel daunting and trigger performance anxiety,” she explains. “So, take plenty of time to communicate, address fears, and, if applicable, establish safe words. You might also want to remind them that this is new territory for you too, and you’re a little nervous as well. Letting yourself be vulnerable in front of your partner is a tried and true way to build intimacy—which can make the sex that follows that much steamier!”

Ivanovic also notes that it’s important to be mindful of any physical limitations your partner may have—because not every position is suitable for everyone, depending on their level of mobility and flexibility.

“You can also explore using props like sex pillows and straps that can make holding a sex position more comfortable,” adds Lisa Lawless, a psychotherapist specializing in sexual health and wellness and founder of Holistic Wisdom.

With all that in mind, here are some of experts’ favorite Valentine’s Day sex positions for cranking up the romance—and feeling instantly closer. Who knows? You may just find a new go-to position together that you can add to the romp rotation.

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Why it works: In a recent survey, sex therapists and educators cited the Lotus as one of the most effective positions for enhancing intimacy—in part, Pataky says, because it offers ample opportunities for full-body caressing and gazing into each other’s eyes. Not only that, but since this position doesn’t allow for thrusting too quickly, it forces the penetrator to slow down and get in sync with their partner. “This position is great for Valentine’s Day because it’s kind of a challenge, but the closeness you get is out of this world,” says Brianna Sanders, a couples therapist and relationship coach in private practice.

How to do it: In this position, the receiver sits cross-legged while their partner sits facing them and straddles them. The receiver can then wrap their arms around their partner’s back.

Why it works: Ivanovic says this position is a romantic twist on the old standby—doggy style. The best part? It offers super-deep penetration.

How to do it: The receiver lies face down, and slides a pillow underneath their pelvis to raise their hips up. Then, the penetrator gets on their hands and knees and enters from behind. Bonus points if they can whisper sweet (or dirty) nothings into the receiver’s ear.

Why it works: Lawless recommends this position because it gives the penetrator maximum depth and control, and the angle provides the option for either vaginal or anal sex. She suggests using a vibrator or cock ring to make things even spicier.

How to do it: The receiver stands with their legs spread slightly apart, and then bends forward and rests their hands on the edge of a chair, bed, countertop, bathroom sink, etc. If they have the the flexibility and want even deeper penetration, they can also rest their hands on the floor in front of them. Then, placing one hand on their back for stability, the giver can enter them from behind.

Why it works: Want to take classic missionary position up a notch? According to Ivanovic, the slight angle adjustment that this sex position offers can help target the G-spot. Plus, unlike traditional missionary, it allows the penetrator to reach down and stimulate their partner’s clitoris or penis for double the fun.

How to do it: The receiver lays down on their back while the giver gets down on their knees in front of them. The receiver swings their legs on top of the giver’s shoulders as they penetrate them. Note: If this feels too intense for the receiver at first, try starting with just one leg up.

Why it works: In a recent survey, 30% of sex experts said this is the best position for deep penetration. Like with the shoulder holder, this position allows the penetrator to control the depth simply by leaning forward or back. Not only that, but Pataky notes that it’s easy to stimulate your partner’s nipples, vulva, or clit in this position.

How to do it: The receiver starts lying down on the bed, with their hips on the edge of the bed. The penetrator stands or kneels at the edge of the bed—depending on its height. The receiver raises one or both legs, ands rests their calf or ankle on their partner’s shoulder. If that’s uncomfortable, they can also place it on their partner’s hip.

Why it works: It doesn’t get more intimate than this standing sex position, says Sanders, which puts you face-to-face with your partner and gives you endless skin-to-skin contact. While this position works best if you’re somewhat close in height, you can also have a shorter partner stand on tiptoes or a block to meet the other’s level.

How to do it: Stand facing each other, and have the receiving partner hook one leg around the penetrating partner’s waist as they enter. Hold onto each other for balance—or, if you need a little extra stability, position yourselves so you can lean onto a counter, table, or wall. Pro tip: The higher the receiver lifts their leg, the deeper the penetration.

Why it works: Pataky says this is a perfect V-day position because it leaves both partners’ hands free to caress each other. Plus, it gives the receiver all the control over the speed and provides plenty of clitoral stimulation.

How to do it: The penetrator lays down with their left leg extended long and the right knee bent, with the right foot flat on the bed. (You can swap legs when you try this, of course—we’re just using left and right for ease of explanation.)

The receiver sits down sideways between their partner’s legs so they’re facing the bent knee. From there, they can place their left foot flat on the bed between their partner’s legs, and bend their right leg against the side of their partner’s torso. While the penetrating partner holds onto their right thigh with their right hand for support, the receiver can rest their right hand on their partner’s chest as they ride them.

Why it works: This is another position that gives the receiving partner most of the control over the depth and speed. Plus, Pataky says the giver will be able to use both hands to hold onto the receiver’s backside or touch all their erogenous zones—and it gives them a great view, to boot.

How to do it: This position is similar to cowgirl—but instead of getting on their knees and leaning forward, the receiver will be seated on top with their feet on the bed, and their torso leaning backward. Depending on how far they can lean back, they can place their hands on the receiver’s thighs or the bed behind them.

Why it works: If the name alone doesn’t lend itself perfectly to V-Day, consider this: Lawless says this position provides all-over upper body skin-to-skin contact for an extra intense connection. Basically, it’s the sexual equivalent of a hug.

How to do it: The penetrating partner starts seated on the bed with their legs stretched out in front of them. The receiver straddles them, with their knees tucked under their partner’s armpits and feet flat on the bed. The penetrator can place one hand on their partner’s back and the other on their bum while kissing their breasts or resting their head on their shoulder. The penetrator can also lean their head back and gaze into their partner’s eyes as they gyrate in back-and-forth or circular motions. Or, Lawless suggests gently pressing your foreheads together and closing your eyes while you hold hands.

Why it works: “Also known as ‘modified missionary,’ this position takes a fan-favorite to a more romantic place,” Riccio says. Not only does it provide deeper penetration than classic missionary, but it still lends endless opportunities for eye contact and kissing. “You can hear and feel your partner’s breath and body movements in a way that feels incredibly intimate,” Riccio adds.

How to do it: Start in the missionary position as you normally would, but have the receiver wrap their legs around the giver’s waist to draw them in closer. The giver can also rest their head in the erogenous zone between their partner’s ear and shoulder, allowing them to softly kiss their neck—or whisper something naughty.

Rebecca Strong
Rebecca Strong is a Boston-based freelance writer currently writing about Sex & Relationships at Men’s Health.

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