I Can’t Tell Them That!
If you’re having a behavioral health issue and you’re seeing a therapist, it only makes sense for you to bring it up. Sure, you could hide it, but if you do, you won’t be able to get the comprehensive support you seek. Your therapist will be missing an important piece of your life which will hinder your progress.
If you’re currently enjoying a non-monogamous lifestyle, seeing a sex therapist, and not telling them about said lifestyle, you’re also missing out. Because if your therapist is in the dark, they won’t be able to provide you with the holistic care you deserve.
Should you divulge your thruple, your polyamory, your swinging details to your therapist? Ideally, yes. But those in more traditional relationships should just as importantly share their own anxieties, hang ups and fantasies with their providers.
I certainly don’t mean to imply that you MUST share every detail of your life in therapeutic work. But if your therapist doesn’t have at least a decent general overview, they’re cut off from providing the very best care they can. They might guide you down the wrong conversational path which isn’t the least bit helpful. Additionally, exploration of topics such as consent and safety and communication can be thwarted despite the therapist’s best efforts.
I also don’t want to give anyone the impression that they need to be an open book upon first meeting their therapist! It takes time to cultivate what we call the “therapeutic relationship”, time to build trust and know if you will be a good match for one another. If you don’t ultimately enjoy that trust enough to share what’s important, you may want to consider switching to a provider with whom you have better rapport.
Ultimately the more you share, the better care your therapist can provide, and that means you have a greater chance of meeting your therapeutic objectives.