“I Hate Being Alone” Reasons Why And How to Embrace Solitude
I have always found comfort in my own company. Being around others, especially those who are not my people, leaves me drained and exhausted. But then, there are times when I need to be away from my thoughts and company for a while, times when I need to not be alone. While I don’t exactly hate being alone, there are times when I do feel something akin to dislike.
It’s not just me either. Many of us experience a deep aversion to being alone, and it’s perfectly OK. Having someone to talk to can do wonders for your health, just as being alone for a long time can leave you with wounds too deep. Being alone or living in solitude isn’t bad per se – I use my alone time to work on myself, new hobbies, and new skills – but when this lifestyle goes on for too long – with zero socialization – then, it can turn into loneliness.
So, if you’ve ever said to yourself, “I hate being alone” – ironically, you’re not alone in feeling this way. Let’s read some of the common reasons you hate being alone and how you can embrace your alone time without hating your own company.
The Reasons You Hate Being Alone
1. You Fear The Unknown
One reason you might hate being alone is that you fear the unknown. When you’re with yourself, your mind takes you to all those places you typically avoid. What if something goes wrong tomorrow? What if you fail your test and lose a good opportunity? What if, what if, what if! It’s all you can think of. Because of all the uncertainties piling up in your head, you might hate being alone.
2. You Find Self-Reflection Scary
Being alone means you have a lot of time on your hands to reflect on your life, career, relationships, and more, and this is something that is not always pleasant or comfortable, especially when you’re not used to self-reflection. You might begin to ruminate on past mistakes or worry about the future. Self-reflection being scary for you can be another reason you hate being alone.
3. You Get FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
With everyone always highlighting their social life through social media, it might seem to you that everyone is living an extraordinary or exciting life. Because of this, you might experience FOMO or the fear of missing out when you’re in your own company. You might feel that you’re missing out on new experiences and adventures and feel sad about it, making you hate being alone.
4. Your Self-Worth Depends on Validation
There’s nothing wrong with seeking a little appreciation now and then. I find it amazing when I’m around people who support and cheer me on. But, when your self-worth and self-esteem depend on external validation, that’s when trouble brews. When you have no one around to validate you, then you may begin to hate being alone.
5. You Feel Lost
I hate being alone but I also don’t want to be alone. This is a conundrum I face from time to time and I’m always lost on how to fix it. Lately, after talking to my therapist, I’ve begun to realize that I feel this way because I feel lost in life. I easily become overwhelmed and it makes me feel lost. Being around others can help me find social cues, but when I’m alone, I find myself with too many things and too many thoughts to make sense of them, making me hate being alone.
6. You Are a Co-Dependent Person
Co-dependency can be another reason you hate being alone. When you’re a co-dependent person, you feel like you need a relationship to feel OK. You always seek relationships to make yourself feel better. The relationships you form are not always healthy as such relationships rarely have boundaries and realistic expectations.
7. You Overthink When You’re Alone
Not everyone can be comfortable with their thoughts and feelings. I hate being alone with my thoughts, so whenever I’m left to my own devices, I distract myself by either cooking a challenging recipe, reading a book or playing my guitar. Anything that stops me from thinking too much. Being with your thoughts can be a struggle when you don’t know how to filter them out. This can make you hate being alone too.
So, How to Be More Comfortable Being Alone?
1. Embrace Alone Time
Instead of fearing being alone, try to embrace it by using your alone time as an opportunity to re-discover yourself, your talents, and your hobbies. You can try what I try when I’m alone. Read a book, go for a walk, learn a new skill, focus on a new hobby, etc. Slowly, doing all this will help you become more comfortable in your alone time instead of disliking it.
2. Make Alone Time, Quality Time
Being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. Use this time to pamper yourself, watch all the movies and dramas you’ve been missing, or cook your favorite meal for one! Use this opportunity to take yourself out on a date. Once you start making quality time of your alone time, who knows, you might even look forward to it!
3. Don’t Miss Out on Socializing
Even when you’re alone, don’t miss out on socializing with others. Remember, humans are social creatures and we thrive in social settings. Try to hang out with your trusted friends and family members, especially those who don’t leave you drained of your energy. You can also join community groups or support groups to stay connected and get a sense of belonging.
4. Journal What You Feel
If you hate being alone with your thoughts and feelings, then the best way to be comfortable with them is to journal your feelings. Instead of letting self-reflection scare you away from your mind, try to make it into a constructive exercise. Journaling can also help you process your thoughts and feelings better and gain a better understanding of who you are.
5. Limit Social Media
Keep in mind that social media only shows highlights of others’ lives, not the reality. It’s what other people choose to show the world while hiding their struggles behind closed doors. Try to limit your social media use and monitor what kind of content you’re viewing. I would recommend that you set a time limit to social media use and go have your own adventures. Ones that make you happy.
6. Seek a Professional’s Help
Sometimes, your hatred of alone time might stem from something bigger than you might think. If you are becoming more and more agitated and uncomfortable with being alone, then it can be related to past trauma, anxiety, or any other underlying mental health conditions. If that’s the case, then seeking a professional consultation might help you address such causes and learn how to combat them.
I don’t hate being alone, but there are times when I feel too uncomfortable being in my own company. It’s OK to hate being alone at times; I have friends and family members who hate being alone with nothing to do. But, changing your mindset about alone time, using some creative outlets to express yourself, and learning to enjoy your company can make you relish and look forward to some alone time.
So, the next time you think, “I hate being alone” remember that you have the power in your hands to change this thinking into, “I love my company the best”. Give the above-mentioned tips a try, and who knows, you might find a great companion within!
I hope this article helped you learn the reasons you hate being alone and how to become more comfortable being alone. Let me know what you think about this article and the tips mentioned in the comments below.
Take Care and Stay Safe!